When not writing best-selling sex ed books, editing best-selling erotic anthologies and hobnobbing with San Francisco's literati, Violet Blue explores the razor's edge between sex and technology.
One of the first people to enter the erotic podcasting world with her insanely popular Open Source Sex, Violet also rips porn a new one on a regular basis on the smartest pornblog around, Fleshbot, and on her personal blog at her website Tiny Nibbles. That wildly entertaining blog covers everything from programming to perversion, sex to switchblades, Berettas to bukkake, expanding on Violet's work in books and podcasts, on camera, and with outlaw machine-arts troupe Survival Research Laboratories.
Eros Zine: Your best-known books are probably The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus and The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio. Why is good oral sex so important?
Violet Blue: It's not so much that good oral sex is important -- and it is very important -- but more that oral sex is a topic that lots of people have questions about, and until the books came out there were few places to find accurate answers. Most sex books just glaze over oral sex (especially cunnilingus) and never really explain how to do it, why it feels good and how to make it hot for both the giver and the receiver.
I still hear female "sex experts" (like Erica Jong in Inside Deep Throat) claim that women derive no pleasure from fellatio, which is crazy-untrue. And people have all kinds of questions like how to deep throat, how to control when and where a man ejaculates, what to do when going down on a woman to bring her to orgasm, and just what to expect in terms of taste and smell and appearance of genitals. Answering these questions gives people the tools they need to become really good at oral sex (along with lots of techniques, which I provide by the dozen).
Because you're face-to-face with the most personal and private part of a person during oral sex, you need to have your questions answered in order to relax and have fun -- and get off. Oral sex is taboo, oral sex is hot; I'm not surprised the books have done so well.
Eros Zine: You're also known for Sweet Life: Erotic Fantasies for Couples and its follow-up volumes, . You talk rather eloquently in the introduction about your relationship to couplehood and long-term relationships; has your perspective on couplehood changed at all with your success as an erotic and educational sex writer and editor?
Violet Blue: No, I still think that couples are much more sexually sophisticated than media and pop culture think. Sweet Life is a book for couples who want well-written, hot erotica about modern couples who try edgy fantasies and really get off on the adventure and the sex; without a moralistic ending. Most sex advice books, programs, erotica collections and videos for couples treat couples like they automatically have a problem for wanting to experiment and have fun with sex; they often impart a moral as punishment for doing things such as trying a threesome. If there's any "moral" to the stories I find for couples, it's that sexual experimentation is healthy and brings you closer together, even if it turns out silly, strange -- or mind-blowingly hot, as is often the case.
Eros Zine: You've also written The Ultimate Guide to Adult Videos and are well known for encouraging people to enjoy and explore porn. For you, what makes good porn?
Violet Blue: Oh, good porn -- what a fantasy! Good porn is pretty much the opposite of most of what's most widely available on the market. Good porn has real people who are attractive; it has performers that are so hot for each other they practically tear each other's clothes off (or savor every minute and every inch); good porn looks good and is thoughfully lit and edited; in good porn, no one "goes through the motions." Good porn makes you want to get off ASAP; good porn doesn't treat its audience like they're stupid, wrong or perverted for wanting to watch it. Good porn is believable and has context. Good porn knows the failures of bad porn; good porn never fakes it.
Eros Zine: So, that said....who are your favorite porn stars and directors?
Violet Blue: John Leslie, Tony
Comstock, Joanna
Angel, Eon
McKai, John Stagliano, Ernest Greene, April Flores, Julian,
Randy Spears, Belladonna, Seska, Michelle Wild, Michael Soldier,
Zoe Matthews,
Justine Joli, Cytheria, various unnamed male and female
amateurs from around the world...
Eros Zine: Speaking of porn, do all the various, uh, "controversies"
concerning the AEE & Internext
this year affect you at all?
Violet Blue: Nope! They're in their own bubble. I'm not in porn; I'm just a consumer advocate.
Eros Zine: Your most recent book is the newest volume of Best Women's Erotica. How does it feel to take over such a long-running series? Are you doing next year's volume, as well? Are you excited about where the series is going?
Violet Blue: It's a thrill to be selected to take over such a prestigious and respected erotica series; I also feel a bit punk rock being so young and ushering in a new set of values and tastes to the genre. I'm definitely bringing in a whole new approach to the women's erotica scene, and what's been previously featured -- I also got lucky with the hundreds of submissions I received in that there were so many insanely explicit yet highly literary pieces. Luck of the draw, and also the draw of whatever my personality is perceived as bringing to the series. I originally only expected to do this year's collection; Cleis asked me to sign on for two more years and I'm just beside myself with excitement. I feel like I'm getting away with something really naughty. I'm totally gonna get caught blowing the football captain in the back seat and get the car keys taken away.
Eros Zine: Another recent book of yours is Best Sex Writing 2005. Can you talk a bit about how you found the "best" sex writing for the year? Is the work primarily original or reprinted?
Violet Blue: I originally got the idea for the book (now a series) from
reading an incredibly well-written piece of sex journalism (by Robin
Postell), and thinking that I'd love to sit down and devour a whole
book of articles like that. So -- and here's where I reveal the non-secret
that I make the books I want to read -- I pitched the idea
to Cleis Press and they loved it. Then I started scouring books, magazines
and online reosurces for writing about sex that was true, funny, lurid,
real, shocking, and by nature sexually explicit -- and most of all
not dry or clinical essays. I was getting so bored with nonfiction
collections of sex writing that were these literary pastiches of sex
in a context publishers and editors felt would only be palatable if
the passion and sex were wrung out of it. I wanted a crazy, not-boring
collection of real things where I learned about strange sexual subcultures
-- and again, without the ridicule or sexophobic reactions typically
accompanying such pieces when found in pop media. You know, smart
and entertaining and titillating stuff.
Eros Zine: Where do you see nonfiction sex writing going -- with regard to the mainstream? Is writing & talking about sex more popular than it was when you started a few years ago?
Violet Blue: Hell yes. Again, I think people are a lot more sexually sophisticated than the media, Hollywood, the publishing industry and the government thinks. People really like sex -- it's just taken the democratization of free speech publishing (blogs, internet, podcasting) to open the doors.
Eros Zine: Fuck yeah. Thanks, Violet! Readers can read more about Violet's books and check out her wildly entertaining blog at her website, Tiny Nibbles, can listen to her show Open Source Sex with iTunes, and can enjoy her regular contributions to Fleshbot.
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