The author and behind-the-scenes shooter Dave Kapp. Photo by Jamye Waxman.
Not like I need an excuse to travel, but when my friend Jamye Waxman told me she'd be in LA shooting her instructional porn video series, Personal Touch, for Adam & Eve, I asked if she could use any help. She thought she'd be able to get me a few bucks for on-set assistance so I booked my trip.
The crew was a mixed bag of industry legends, porn veterans and newbies, including one guy who'd never been on a porn shoot in his life. He was half of the lighting team, and he spent his entire first day with his nose buried in his PS2. The first set was three days at the magnificent Magnus Studios, about a bazillion square feet of warehouse space decorated in either high Goth or goofy space age bachelor pad styles.
Director Jamye Waxman
and sex toys
on the set of Personal Touch.
Mandy Morbid and Zak Sabbath on the set of Stagger Lee. Photo by Gram Ponante.
I was immediately put to work as cue-card girl with side jobs as sex toy unwrapper and wardrobe mistress, helping Jamye and the porn starlets decide which outfits to wear. Given my oddball sock fetish and Jamye's similar enthusiasm for fun footwear, you'll no doubt notice all kinds of silly socks in her video series. Jamye also dubbed me as responsible for "the best lines ever," as I provided her with hilarious ad lib quips. We'll see how much of my cleverness makes it through the editing process!
The first sex scene we shot starred Benjamin Bratt and Lexi Bardot. Jamye had hoped to book real couples and these two porn stars were sex partners off-set as well as on. They went at each other with a passionate ferocity that had me on the edge of my folding chair. When Benjamin gripped one of Lexi's legs up in the air while pumping away at her, he took a nibble of her striped-socked foot and I swooned! Sock lovin', yeah!
My other favorite sex scene was between Dick Chibbles (of Clown Porn fame) and his partner, Daisy Layne. They're both over six feet tall, so there was a whole lotta lovin' goin' on. They even fucked the bed apart! Dick screws like a champ and Daisy is just sooo gorgeous, all long legs and flowing locks. Mmmm!
The most mindblowing scene was the female ejaculation "come off" between Cytherea and Lyla Lei. These two are so famous for their spurting that the crew set up a splash barrier between them and the equipment. After much girly giggling and teasing foreplay, the time finally came. I mean the girls finally came. They started spraying like Mount Vesuvius as I stared on in disbelief. It went on forever, with one shrieking "I'm coming again!" and spraying across the room, then the other, until the two were standing in a puddle of girl jizz. Whew! That was wild!
Syren on the set of Personal Touch. Photo by Jamye Waxman.
Over the four days between shooting for Personal Touch, I'd made plans to accompany Gram Ponante, of Fleshbot and other assorted adult sites, to a couple of other porn sets. The first stop was, yup, Magnus Studios. Guess it's a popular spot for shooting smut! But before we could even get into the door, a bizarre altercation occurred. Just as we walked up, a porn dude in a pearl white rental car started shrieking at Gram. "Hey, you fuckin' pussy! You gossip writers are all the same!" The porn dude was Kurt Lockwood, and he hurled numerous invectives at Gram, then jumped out of his car and started shoving him, spilling Gram's coffee. The guy was about half Gram's size [Editor's note: Gram Ponante reports himself to be 6'6"] and all Gram would've had to do was clock him with his coffee go-cup. But Gram resisted, showing admirable restraint. And Kurt kept up with the insults. "You called me a fag, motherfucker! How ya gonna spin this!" And he ripped off his shirt, ready to fight. Just like in the movies! Hah!
Eventually the two were broken up and Gram and I went upstairs to the shoot, where we bumped into Luke Ford. He'd caught the whole thing on video and was eager to put it online immediately. Gram politely asked him not to. And then, after a hushed tete-a-tete with the director, Jennifer James, Gram informed me that we'd been asked to leave. Which we, of course, did. And we decided to head over to the second shoot of the day. En route, Gram began receiving phone calls. Luke had been asked to leave the shoot too, and he wasted no time posting the incident on his site, LukeIsBack.com. Gram and I were gossip!
It took forever to find the next shoot, for Benny Profane's Stagger Lee, located in a warehouse space in beautiful downtown Compton. We said hi to Benny and Ron Royster and their cast of characters: Zak Sabbath, Marie Luv, Mandy Morbid and Sasha Grey. And the adorable pot bellied pig that was slated to appear as a baby. We hung out and had lunch and waited for hours for the action to begin. They'd built an actual set, a small room, so I watched the sex on a tiny little screen. It just wasn't the same as seeing it up close and personal. But all in all, it was quite an eventful day. Even if we DID miss seeing the pig's big scene.
By Saturday I'd had just about enough of LA, with the never-ending miles of highway and hideous traffic. But it was back to the salt mines, this time at another downtown LA location. We had an exhausting day of non-real-couples sex and I have to say, the difference is remarkable. I wonder if you'll be able to tell in the end result.
Marie Luv on the set of Benny Profane's Stagger Lee. Photo by Gram Ponante.
Sasha Grey on the set of Stagger Lee. Photo by Gram Ponante.
Sunday was our last day of shooting for Personal Touch, this time up in porn central, the San Fernando Valley. But it wasn't at some cheesy typical porno house, it was at Dani the caterer's house. We had two more scenes to shoot and one featured another real couple, Mia Smiles and Chris Cannon. Plus the last few scenes of Jamye's dialogue. By this time the crew had really bonded. Behind-the-Scenes cameraman Dave and I handcuffed ourselves together with the Sportsheets velcros and he tossed M&Ms into my mouth. Brian felt comfortable enough with us to hang out and talk, doing push-ups with Latina starlet Laurie Vargass, his PS2 forgotten. And my favorite moments of the whole experience: the down time we got to spend with director Jim Malibu, talking about alt-porn and other topical adult industry stuff, once the shooting was over. It all felt comfortable and familiar, like family.
We finally finished packing up and loading out around 10:30, which made a grand total of about 70 hours on-set over my 10 days in LA. Whew! All I can say is makin' porn ain't easy!
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EROTICA
/ ZINE
