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Skateboard Kink Freak (Bleu Productions)
I say "Sexual BDSM" because this doesn't have the standoffish anti-erotic distance of many BDSM videos -- which can be hot in its own way. This, on the other hand, is powerful, intense, and sexual, with more body-to-body eroticism than you'll see in any 100 commercial girl-girl videos. The fact that it looks like a beautifully photographed fine-art indie film will satisfy those of you who bitch that porn looks like crap. Far from being artistically self-indulgent, every lovingly-rendered shot in Skateboard Kink Freak balances the fine-art demands of gorgeous lighting, framing and staging with tangible, wet, messy, slurpy sexual hunger that's obvious from each movement of the actors' bodies, from their sounds and the sounds of snapping rubber glove, of hand on butt, of tongue on asshole. Every moment of Skateboard Kink Freak sizzles with sex, sensation, and pervy power exchange, the kind of beautiful real SM that just can't be faked. There are simply not enough good things I can say about this film, about Maria Beatty, about Amber Rayne, and about Michelle Aston. Buy it now. Naked Aces 2 (Digital Playground)
The flick opens with three well-armed Eros Zine faves -- Jesse Jane, Rebecca Linares, and Brianna Love -- busting their way into Marco Banderas's bedroom as he prepares to insert a dildo in his ass. The trio drops the firepower and ravenously shoves him onto the bed, pounding him silly in an aggressive threesome that sees Marco trading Spanish sweet-talking with his fellow child of Iberia, Linares, while pounding her in front of a makeout scene between Jane and Love. Thereafter, steamin-hot secret agent Renae Cruz busts in on a German agent to retrieve a stolen dildo, which he's clearly stashed in his pants. Holding him at gunpoint with a weapon so huge it boggles the mind, she yanks open his pants only to discover that that's not an extra-large dildo, that's his weapon, which means he's not the thief but hey, since she's here… She sucks him eagerly and the two fuck energetically. The next scene gives another Eros Zine fave, Madison Young, the opportunity to fire a submachine gun and fuck herself with a dildo, two things at which she excels. When a bad guy shows up to steal her dildo, she machineguns him and then fucks him (he doesn't die or anything, it's only phenomenally weird, not necrophiliac). Madison, if I have not mentioned it this week, is HOT and it's a hilariously bizarre but still very hot scene as he fucks her, or maybe she fucks him, in numerous ways. For the next scene, Jesse Jane is abducted by ninja Tommy Gunn, and… well, what do you think Jesse Jane is going to do if abducted by any ninja, particularly Gunn? I could watch Jesse fuck forever, and her wild, frenetic energy with Gunn is awesome. To round things out, we find blonde Candy Manson with Banderas, now endowed with the dildos and looking incredibly hot in a studded slave collar. Fun ensues. Naked Aces is not only a shockingly energetic porn movie; it's one of the most frenetic, wild, head-spinning things you'll ever see on video. It's crazy, wacky, steaming hot and bad to the bone. Chemistry 3 (Vivid)
That's one of the things that makes Chemistry 3 so lovable, but there are plenty of others. The stars this time are Roxy DeVille, Jada Fire, Hillary Scott, Christian, Steven St. Croix, and Derrick Pierce. St. Croix seems strangely shy and standoffish in the group interview segments -- he was, after all, making his zillionth porno when most of these people were in short pants -- but when it's time for him to come forth, he pulls no punches. But the sex is fantastic as well, and the pairings go from explosive (Hillary Scott and St. Croix) to casual, friendly, and enjoyably silly. It's got all the fun of watching your neighbors have laid-back Saturday-afternoon sex, except that your neighbors are porn stars. Taormino has again produced a video that's as educational as it is hot, and if anything it's the best of the series. Rough Draft (Vivid)
Savanna then fields another call from her producer, who yowls "Lesbians! They're so hot! I want a couple girls going at it in this movie!!" "hat about the romantic boy-girl?" "Forget it! I want lesbians!!!" Savanna responds by imagining herself with delectable Sandra Romain, who is sporting a new tan and an obvious desire to rim Savanna until she squeals. Savanna slips into her strap-on and gives Sandra a very nice round of doggy-style and cowgirl sex before the two trade places. For scene 4, Savanna pairs with Jerry as she seeks after that elusive romantic boy-girl scene that her producer keeps demanding, she places herself squarely in the fantasy with Jerry, for a long slow fuck with lots of cunnilingus, accompanied by seductive sax music… well, easy-jazz, actually, whatever. But it's still a hot scene, made no less romantic by the fact that it features a dirty, intense anal fuck. THE END, types Savannah, but her annoying producer is back on speaker phone demanding a new scene: "Two girls, that's fine, but two girls making it when a guy walks in? That's genius." "Oh, yeah," she responds. "That's genius." She still manages to write it, deliciously, probably not least because it's Tia Tanaka and Roxy DeVille making it with Pascal St. James -- not genius, maybe, but hot. Like many Vivid disks, Rough Draft is packed with extras, including five bonus scenes from other movies, photo galleries, previews, a positions menu, and more. Rough Draft is a likeable, and at times romantic, satisfying feature with a story weaving together several vignettes. Double Up (Vivid)
That's the bad news. The good is that once Double Up turns its attention from the Love Twins' mechanical demonstration of how to earn money for cosmetology school without showing even the vaguest hint of genuine enjoyment, it's actually fairly reasonable porn movie. But somebody, for the love of Ron Jeremy and All that is Holy, somebody tell these girls to stop mewling and at least try not to let their eyes wander in boredom while they're screaming in supposed ecstasy. And stop making that fish face. Stop it. The opening scene with the Twins is bizarre for more reasons than just the Twins themselves, with the male star yowling odd insults that make him sound like a lunatic. But after we get past that, there's a very hot scene with a straight couple picking up a tarty little slut for a good-natured threesome that involves her washing her "dirty pussy" in the kitchen sink -- how can you beat that? It's fun, frisky and hot. Two identical-looking-but-not-identically, and not incidentally very hot, brunettes then show up to a McMansion to observe a straight couple having sex, and end up getting wrapped up in a four-way with them. There are surgically modified tits in this scene, which gets it only a B+. For the next scene, the Twins are back, posing in a photo booth and then meeting up with some biker guy for a threesome under the boardwalk. Since it's a public sex scene, the wailing and yowling is mostly kept under control here, and it's a passable scene at first -- much less so when they retire to his apartment and the screaming starts, but at least the guy is reasonably hot.. Double Jeopardy (Vivid)
The flashbacks start with Van Damage screwing the Twins on the beach; soon thereafter Dillon is relating his adventures to Flame while she rides him. Relating the frisky behavior of the twins, the slutty daughter, the cheatin' trophy wife, the lascivious butler and the naughty son while Dillon conducts his investigation, there's plenty of opportunity for latter-day upstairs/downstairs McMansion sex while the wicked crime at the core of the film. Meanwhile, Dillon and Flame are goin' at it, in an extended sex scene with all the romance of Remington Steele finally getting it on with that Zimbalist chick. It may not be Oscar material, but I loved it. 10 Dirty-Talkin' Masturbators (Adam & Eve)
Despite that, the women and the action are undeniably pleasing eye candy. Cindy Crawford fucks herself in her pussy and ass with a dildo; gorgeous Mikayla fucks herself with her fingers, and she's one of the ones who does appear to climax. Allie Ray fucks herself with a giant dildo, then gets off on her fingers. Lovely brunette India Summer fucks herself with a vibe, showing evident pleasure; Annette Schwarz is then dressed up in rubber fetishwear as befits her German origins; she strips it off and fucks herself with her fingers and a dildo. Beautiful brunette Elena Rivera sprawls on the chaise lounge, fucks herself with a vibrator in the great outdoors, and pretty blonde Chelsea Rae spreads wide to use a candy colored vibe, then her fingers, Chavon Taylor uses fingers and a dildo; lovely Nadi Phuket shows an exceptional ability to dirty talk as she gets undressed and talks about sucking cock, then fucks herself with a vibe. Finally, Eros Zine favorite Adrianna Nicole is caught on the phone, shit-talks the producers a bit in that special way Adrianna loves to do, and then sits on a pool table spreads and fingers herself, then does herself with a metal dildo. Again, what doesn't work is that there's no focus on female orgasm; any pleasure shown seems pretty fake. Shouldn't that be the last thing going on in a movie about female masturbation? The hot talk is hot, the masturbating less so. Special features include BTS footage, previews, a photo gallery and a commentary track with performer Cindy Crawford, plus a bonus scene from Hot Squirts #3 featuring Roxetta and Lee Stone. I Love My Ass (Vivid)
It begins with vignette "Lost And Found," in which a juicy blonde goes into a high-class boutique looking for a short skirt that will show off her ass. A brunette salesgirl admires her rear end quite vocally, and gets so worked up over it that she just has to fuck her boyfriend when he comes by. But the blonde's forgotten her purse, and when she comes back to get it, can't help getting inveigled into a little spanking and some back-door love. In vignette 2, "Things that go bump in the night," a brunette beauty shows up for her ready-to-go man in a cute little blue-and-leopard outfit that shows her off to great effect. She dirty-talks and stripteases him a little, making him wait, which proves to be a bad idea when a male-female burglary team busts in to the house, ties them both up and starts to have sex in front of them. The happy homeowners are making too much of a squaw, though, so they get locked in the laundry room while Bonnie & Clyde continue their screwing on the couch. When our voyeuristic homies get free, their first thought is not flight but fucking. They don't even bother to see what the burglars stole first, and in their haste for pleasure they just happen to forget all about the title of the compilation. That's right: no anal sex. Cheaters & Karma is a short satire on the TV show Cheaters. A bald guy drops off his girlfriend (who just happens to be 20 years younger than him) to do some shopping, then tap-dances off to an opulent mansion where Blondie awaits him with sad striptease. Unfortunately, she finds Blondie's card in the pocket of his jacket, and heads over there for a confrontation and to kick him out. Turns out it's all a setup, and Blonde and Brunette screw. The girls make some weak softcore love while Baldie watches through the sliding glass door; when they discover him, they ask him in for a predictable and weird threesome. Again, no anal sex, just a half-hearted spanking and something that looks like it meant to be rimming but lost interest halfway through. For "Sharing is Caring," two guys are hanging out while a cheerful girlfriend hangs around the house. They've been such good friends that the boyfriend thoughtfully decides to share his girlfriend. Turns out she's upstairs getting hammered, and by the time the two get upstairs to propose a threesome, she's passed out. No problem! The dude's pants magically disappear at the perfect moment. Surprise -- there's actual anal sex, in that the girlfriend rims the newcomer a little while getting plowed…. and if you think that qualifies this as an anal title, I've got a bridge to sell you. There are five bonus scenes from other Vivid discs, and some BTS footage. Overall, while the production values in I Love My Ass are reasonably high, the vignettes are so chowderheaded as to be almost unwatchable. If the sex was explosive, I'd forgive that fact. But this dog adds insult to injury. Just how big does one's balls have to be to call something "I Love My Ass" and have almost no anal sex in it? Even if that weren't the case, the sex on this DVD but it doesn't even come close to overcoming the dead weight of stunning narrative blandness. The stories on this disc are to "Oh, look! The pizza guy showed, up and we don't have any money!" what Cheez Whiz is to caviar. The whole thing is weak, insulting, and kind of embarrassing. I expect better from Paul Thomas -- WTF? In Through the Back Door 3(Vouyer Media)
Next, lovely 21-year-old Ricky White is a pierced brunette with a flirty, sexy manner. She's dolled up in ultrasexy high heeled boots and a black halter and hot pants, and talks a lot about how she likes it in her ass while the director chats her up. When her male partner shows up, the action starts fast, with lots of fingering and moaning and oral sex; when a second guy shows up she goes to town on him as well. Then, oh then the DP begins. Nice. Pretty and tiny brunette spinner Italia Christie starts by showing off and getting a long slow fingering from behind; then she's on her knees sucking while she looks flirtatiously at the camera. She keeps dirty-talking the whole time. Excellent. Gorgeous brunette Maya Gates is next; she gets fingered and rimmed and fucked with a toy -- lots of foreplay before she starts sucking cock and then we go straight to the anal. She manages to look both elegant and trashy while getting fucked; I love the rhinestone collar and earrings. One of my favorite actresses in the biz is irresistible ravenhaired Brit Leah Jaye, saucy and mouthy and generally filled with attitude. She shows up in pink panties, a black lace top and high heels; damn, she is gorgeous. The last time she worked with the director, she was not ready to do anal. Now she is -- so ready, in fact, that she's going to work with Jack Napier, which she does after extensive butt-pluggery and fingering from Jack. Lovely. There are three bonus scenes, two just repurposed shots from this film and the third a new one with gorgeous blonde Jade Jolie. It's all a nice, high-quality gonzo package for fans of anal sex. Beautiful Anal Divas (Bad Seed)
Next, breathtaking Marie Luv flirts with the camera as she masturbates and lets the cameraman finger her, then sucks cock, gets fucked while a butt-plug is put to good use. She seems to like anal almost as much as Linares does. Juicy Keanni Lei then flirts, kneels, sucks, gets done doggy style, then missionary, then crawls around and finally gets done anally. Beautiful Bobbi Starr is fourth, giving a particularly flirty and sexy interview as she talks about her anal sex experiences, among other things. After showing off her gorgeous body she gets down to business, sucks and gets done anally. She genuinely seems to be enjoying herself -- very hot -- and seems to get off on the director's cock. Leilani and Annette Scharz are next, playing with each other until the director's ready to join in. They trade off on his cock, then Leilani gets done and Annette assists, until it's time for Leilani to prove herself anally receptive. Annette is next, and the two girls trade off getting it in the rear until the money shot. Bonus materials here include BTS footage, previews, and a bonus scene with Alicia Angel & Will Powers from Ronnie James' Anal POV. It's all very hot, straightforward, and definitely does the trick for anal fans. The stars in this assemblage are among the hottest in the business, making it well with a viewing if anal is your thing.
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