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House on Horny Hill (Abigail Productions)
These nymphos make their presence felt whenever possible, by turning up the heat in a given room in a reversal of the usual "cold spots" seen in hauntings. "Hot spots" also serve as a splendid excuse for the dames viewing the house to shed a few textiles, as happens first with Lena Ramon and Kitty, then with Sinnamon Love and Zenova Braden and Rucca & Luccia. But wait! This ancient nymphomaniac evil still lies waiting to be liberated, and when Varla shows the place to a dominatrix who wants to use it in her work, the winning combination's hit and the Satanic Lesbian Orgy can commence. Oh noes!!! House on Horny Hill is a clever play on the ghost story interlaced with hot scenes of real-looking lesbian sex between women who seem to be genuinely into each other. Layered throughout with ominous music, it feels like a horror flick, even though most of it is hot female-on-female sex. That gives it a strangely unsettling feel, and the movie manages to be hot & creepy at the same time. Control 7 (Digital Playground)
On disk 2, blonde Alyssa Jordan is dressed like a schoolgirl, being videotaped by a longhair who roughly fucks her face, pussy and ass. Then, lovely Velvet Rose, she of the blonde-pink extensions, is dressed in a latex apron, laying out plastic on the floor to wrap up her male partner in plastic wrap and dominate him, tormenting his uncut cock with her teeth and pleasuring it with her hand and mouth, and finally fucking him. At the end our oh-so-dominant domme decides she wants a facial cumshot—yeah! Exercise that authority! Show 'em who's boss! For the disk's last scene, Sasha Grey looks glorious in a sky-blue latex bikini, dominating two guys, one of them in what appears to be a Stockroom bunny-mask, the other in a blindfold. She makes them worship her ass, then jerks them off and sucks their cocks. Once the bunny mask and blindfold come off, turns out its Marco Banderas and Tony DeSergio; they fingercuff her and ultimately double-penetrate her. Control 7 is another hot set of vignettes from Robby D. Glam Trash (Penthouse Video)
Glam Trash is predictable and unoriginal in its fantasies, but they're hot. Similarly, it's kind of credulous in its narrative—but whatthefuckever. The main selling points are the high quality of the cinematography and lighting, done with artful skill, and the stirring hotness of its female stars, who are ultra sizzlin' and mostly all-natural. Reflexxxions (Wicked Pictures)
Reflexxxions is basically a high-quality vignette-based porn movie with a connecting thread between the segments. It's all very stylish and classy, and more importantly the sex is hot. Klub Slutz (Penthouse Underground)
It starts out with the poetry overlay, setting a postmodern backdrop to some sleazy sex with girls with extensions. Nick Manning fucks punked-out Victoria Sinn and Nautica Thorn while he screams FILTHY! This is the same guy who pulled essentially the same act with the Love Twins in some recent Vivid movie I watched, and I don't know who he is, but I wish he would stop shouting in my porn. The difference is that here it works, all punk-metal weirdness while the three of them put on a nightclub show for a circle of gawking spectators. Pretty damn hot, actually. More goth poetry, this time about predators and prey—sometimes, you see, the prey prey upon each other. Cue gorgeous Daisy Marie, looking strangely gothed out, and Randi Wright, who engage in a girl-girl in a rave-painted hallway. "After the witching hour comes feeding hour, and once the animals catch that scent, that pungent aroma of female in heat, watch out," we're told: Cue Audrey Hollander, who's cagedancing for a rabid crowd—the cage is all she has keeping her safe. Husband Otto makes an appearance as her keeper. With Jay Lassiter, Bauer ravishes her in the cage while the crowd cheers, then take her backstage for a little serious anal and double penetration—Audrey, we love you. "Inevitably one strays away from the pack. Dirty piss-soaked floors are her aphrodisiac." that would be Jezebelle Bond, ravaged by some gothboy who fucks her as promised in the bathroom stall. There are more than your garden-vairety freaks here in Klub Slutz, and when one of the bikini-clad lust-victim prey-creatures slips into a hidden carnival-circus, she finds herself giving head to a tophat-clad carnival barker, then soundly fucked by him. To finish off the flick, hot asian girl Max Mikita fucks a longhaired pretty boy in the trash-strewn alley and then gets assfucked. The ending is even more bizarre, with strange goth poetry and a Hollywood soundtrack. Kelly Holland produced, Guy Capo directed and did the voice over, and needs a cough drop. Klub Slutz is not to be taken too seriously, but if you like the darker, noirish, gothic side of porn then forgive the flick its eccentricities and it'll satisfy you. Insertz (Roy Karch Productions)
Things get started with Boy Wonder and Aurora Snow enjoying a hot pre-creativity boff; thereafter Sheridan shows up to discuss how Wonder's going to make her a star. Then it's time for some serious porn shooting. Mika Tan shows up in a chainmail bikini to get dirty with Herschel Savage in a scene that features a healthy dose of cunnilingus, which is going to prove an important fixture in this film (pussy-eating fans, take note!). Next, Wonder agrees to consider lending his creative talents to fuel Cathy Cake's stardom; she's been working with director Big odd and he's just not doing it for her. She auditions for him by giving a steamy pole dance, stripping nude, and rubbing herself. Then she gets herself off with a vibrator—steamin' hot. Emily Evermore is one of Big Matt's hangers-on; he fucks her as a precursor to seducing Harline who, unfortunately, was given dope instead of coke and has shuffled off this mortal coil. Next thing you know, Boy Wonder is shooting another scene, one on a pool table and involving oodles of pussy-eating. Then, Kathy Kate finally decides that it's time to seduce Boy Wonder and throws herself at him, demanding that he fuck her and make her a star, in that order. They engage in a dirty but romantic scene with lots of pussy eating. Then she services him orally for a long time and they fuck. Insertz is a clever idea but like most porn features its scenes and story are just too randomly stitched together to make any real sense. The sex, however, is very hot, and it's all shot with an appreciation for the kind of filmic textures and sets that remind one of the film era. Filth Cums First (Digital Playground)
On disk 2, we start with a bound Sandra Romain, being dominated and eating chocolate cake—or trying to, which gets her a spanking. She looks delicious herself in pink bra and panties, pink stockings and red high heels. When she gets untied, she decides she doesn't want cake after all; other comestibles await her. She gets soundly fucked and assfucked, but does end up getting down with some cake. Redheads Madison Young and Nikki Coxxx are then tarted up in candy-colored slut outfits. They both ably service Jerry in a hot and rough scene with lots of dirty talk. Next, Rico Strong is taking pictures of irresistible Brianna Love, who's dressed up in leopard print and shimmery pink—fashion citation, babe. He strips her down, wraps her in plastic wrap, and sucks & fucks her. Filth Cums First is, as its title might suggest, a trip into sleaze -- it's high-octane porn, not as stylish as many of Robby's other offerings, but hot. A2M #11 (Anabolic)
The disc jumps right into the action, with lovely Maya Gates introducing the title while she's getting fucked in the ass. Before the words are even out, she's off the cock and has her mouth down getting personal with it; a second guy appears behind her and does her even as she begins to suck eagerly. That's what works about the disc; there's no wasting time, just raw anal sex and double penetration action with cocks going right from the girl's ass to her mouth, no questions asked. Maya gets resoundingly fucked. Things get even better with slutty blonde Aline, dolled up in a bright pink bikini on her perfect body. She touches herself, and when two cocksmen show up to fuck her, the A2M action starts almost immediately. Heating things up still more is petite cocoa sweetheart Marie Luv, one of the most beautiful women in adult. Getting a long, slow rim-job and a quick fuck before she moves on to the back-door action, she rides her partner eagerly. Britney Stevens, hot brunette newcomer, is next; she is hot and dirty like the waitress at the truck stop, and I adore her. Next, blonde babe Lexi Love is dolled up in knee high white high-heeled boots, and looks as tasty as ever. Last is European beauty Maria Bellucci, pretty in pink as she's introduced to two gentlemen in a most unsavory manner, and sucks them eagerly, then gets happily pinned between them. Extra features here include BTS footage, a cum shot recap, a striptease compilation, and a photo gallery of girls getting naughty with super-8 cameras. A2M #11 is not what you would call high-concept porn; it is a repeated assault on a single kink, which, if that's what you're looking for, does the trick. Tom Byron's House of Ass 6 (Tom Byron Productions)
Next is Haley Paige, who I think is about the hottest woman in porn… or was. It's bizarre watching this episode of House of Ass, since Haley was found dead in a hotel room a few months ago. Her boyfriend was found dead a month later. Creepy. Dana DeArmond closes out the episode; I always love Dana, and it is fun to see her with Byron, who needs himself some dirty girls. Awesome all around. Interestingly, most of these scenes aren't anal… well, see my entry on House of Ass 7, below, and you'll understand. Tom Byron's House of Ass 7 (Tom Byron Productions)
Byron starts out this volume by wearing a white Don Johnson and sunglasses as he sits in the yard and interviews Sasha Grey, his cohost whom—here the letdowns start he is not fucking. The reason he is not going to fuck her is that she has a "problem" with her ass, and so he'll bring her back for Lord of Asses 9. Assuming you haven't fast-forwarded, you'll be fasacinated. We are then, however, informed that Lord of Asses is not an all-anal series, which is why Sativa Rose, who is so hot that she makes me trip over my tongue finding new ways to say "Gaaaaaaahh!" -- but here, in House of Ass, she's not going to do anal. Bailey Brooks, starlet 2 (or 3, if you count Grey), also does not do anal. I like Bailey Brooks lots; she and Byron have great energy and she is very hot. But I'm still not sure what part of House of Ass Don Johnson doesn't understand. Our next starlet is Jassie, who "likes to fuck, you can tell," Byron tells us, which I suppose I will take on faith, but it is nevertheless exceedingly evident in her scene; she is energetic and awesome. Then Sandra Romain shows up. Sandra Roman is a sizzling-hot Romanian heartthrob who once politely shook my hand, and I haven't washed it since. She's awesome, and the chemistry between her and Byron is everything I could want. Finally, Sasha Grey is on Byron's dance card, and she is well worth the wait; their chemistry has been building in the viewer's mind through the DVD, and it's a great payoff. It pains me to complain about this series, since I've loved previous editions so much, but Tom Byron's House of Ass 7 let me down. Byron explains in his intro with Grey that House of Ass is not an all anal series. "Ass" means "Piece of ass." To which I, and all the people shelving porn in sleaze emporiums from Miami to Martinez, respond: No, Tom, no it doesn't.
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